Saturday, April 16, 2005
Dumb and Dumber
I really have been doing and saying so many dumb things lately that I'm kind of worried about myself. Am I getting senile or just losing it? (See my latest post for more details). Anyway, in an attempt to reassure myself, tell me what the dumbest thing you have done lately. I'll start: yesterday I asked someone if they were pregnant. I know, I know. You should never, ever, under any circumstances do that and I did and she wasn't. Beat that one!
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6 comments:
I say so many dumb things that I have stopped keeping a tally. Luckily though, most things I say are so dumb that people don't even know I am talking to them, or at least that's what I've been telling myself.
I got asked if I was pregnant once. Don't worry, I'm still friends with that girl.
Wow, Mo - you're on quite a roll. It is very funny to think of you (of all people) saying something really dumb. Carrie on the other hand... (hee hee! j/k!)
Still laughing (inwardly) about spraying your shirt with lemon Pledge. :)
I can't think of anything dumb I've said recently because I have been avoiding all unnecessary contact with the outside world. Henry, however, said something very funny today. He must have thought I couldn't hear his and Waverly's little conversation in the backseat of the minivan.
Referring to the PMS adult acne I'm currently sporting on my chin (I told him it was an "Owie" when he asked what it was), he said to Waverly, "I don't like the owie on her chin, so I don't like her."
Also, I have a friend in the ward whose last name is "Dummer". Yes, it is pronounced like "dumber". Endless fun for them, I'm sure. Good thing they are such smart, fun people. Wish we didn't both have like a million-freakin' kids so we could actually get to know them...
sunday i got slept in a couple minutes so i was in a super rush to get to church on time. church starts at 10 and it was 10:04 when i was putting on my shoes and called sho to see if she was already there or wanted a ride... she said, "what are you talkin about? im just getting in the shower! it barely 9am!" after picking myself off the ground and brushing off my mini-pride i told i was going back to sleep... then i slept too much and ended up being almost 5 inutes late for church anyway...
Spence, how do you offer someone a ride when you don't have a car? Why would you go back to sleep--that's barely enough time to get ready in my opinion...You're stressing me out. James gets super mad when I make us late to church.
I could embrace my Irish heritage and rename myself Faux Pas O'Plenty because it's certainly fitting given my history of boorish behavior.
One poor family in particular seemed to be a target for many of my innocent but misguided remarks. This family took an infidel like me into their home and taught me how to go through the Temple process to be sealed to my family for all time and eternity.
In turn they were rewarded by me asking them what kind of a weird mongrel mix their dog was ( a pure bred Welsh Corgi). Then, when introduced to their adorable toddler grandchild, Waverly, I said, "Wow, I have Waverly wallpaper at home". Yes, I AM a colossal dork. Then, being pregnant and mentioning a few name possibilities with the matriarch of the family, my husband starts laughing about what a "hick" name Jean is ( my middle name), and as it turns out also the middle name of this wonderful lady. I think she was less than impressed with us.
When I was a child I called my Mom's friend, "Miss Catfish". One day she asked me why and I told her. It was due to very long portruding black hairs from her chin and a few on her cheeks just like, well, a catfish.
My darling son had a speech impedimentwhich prohibited a proper anunciation of the letter L. So, we were walking around The Galleria after 9/11 and they placed an American flag the size of a small country on the elevator shafts in the middle of the building. I remember we were directly by Toni and Guy and Versace and some of their male clientele milling around when my son screeched at the top of his lungs and said, "Look Mommy, it's a BIG FAG". Mortified at the stares we hurried the kids back into Lord and Taylor to make our grand escape.
All I can say is that I truly believe sins can be forgiven. AMEN.
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