Friday, March 11, 2005
Who shall i be? you decide... or do you?
have any of you read Goffman? he theorizes that we all have various roles we play in a variety of circumstances (father, husband, older/younger brother, friend, classmate, senior/junior coworker etc.) and we are constantly performing for each other and our selves. Goffman says the audience has ultimate control over which role you take on at any given moment. so what happens when you are playing to a blind audience. online, you have no idea who you are talking to. the regions blur and there is no definition between the front stage, back stage or outter regions. there is no making sure the performance is genuine. people have the ability to create a character completely different from who they are and not be discovered (as long as they have the ability to do a complete and convincing job). online, even when talking to my family, i can be as old as i like. i can assert as much influence as i want because there is no decided hierarchy or policing.what do you think?
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7 comments:
Spencer,
You can "assert as much influence as (you) want" no matter the setting with your family. We're all adults here. A few years this way or that doesn't make that much difference anymore. (Except for Mo and Dad...they are WAAAAAY older! Ha ha :) All assumed places in "family heirarchy" (such an ugly term!) essentially began to fade away for me at the time I got married and started a family. Do you still see yourself as "the youngest" with a defined role to play?
We are not a "blind audience"; we know it is you by virtue of the fact your name is at the bottom of your post. And the lack of capital letters always gives you away...it is so endearing. :) Is this about being the youngest of seven kids? Do you think you have baggage because of this? Just wondering... I, for one, consider you an adult like the rest of us, with as much life experience and good reasoning to contribute the same as anyone else. You're almost a college grad, for Pete's sake!
Discuss.
i was asking more in a genral sense. within this family, the our roles can shift due to the charachter of the medium but i was asking more in the sense of the internet in general. for example, there are whole sites built around influencial bloggers. these people can be black, white, asian, hispanic, male, female, hetero, homo or whatever and it makes no matter. does this make you nervous? do ya'll find it liberating? what does it do to your trust and your judgment on people or media? (excuse the lingo, im not trying to prove anything, im really interested in what ya'll think. although this very parenthesis is a good example. if i were chip typing this, how would your comments change?)
Whoa,I started reading this without looking to see who had posted it and I thought Chip had finally joined us. What does that say about who you are, Essspenerrr? (Did I spell that correctly?) Suzie's right, I should have known by the lack of captial letters. My role seems pretty hard to shake at this point in time but one of the most fascinating aspects of watching your children attain adult status is observing who they become, what role they play in the family, how everyone interacts and reacts within the family. It's never static--it seems to evolve and change, especially as the younger ones take on more and more adult responsibilites. Personally, I think you are all pretty fascinating and extraordinary personalities.
To answer the question you intended to be answered... (though I'd still love a good, juicy response to what I previously wrote)...
The anonymity of blogs is what got me into it in the first place. At first I toyed with the idea of "being whoever I wanted to be", but it is just too hard to be anyone but myself. It was liberating, however, to be as mean and/or critical as I wanted in my initial posts and not feel nervous about putting my thoughts "out there" for anyone to see.
I love the fact that I don't know what most of these blogging people look like, what they do for a living, or how they conduct themselves day to day (talking about other bloggers here, not family). I can't think of another setting where you can glean so much PURE, VIRGIN COMMENTARY, unsullied by bias or pre-judgment. (I only run in blog circles where people are pretty genuine...or ARE they??...But does it really matter?) But really, all of them are friends of friends of friends. It has been a terrific way for me to make "friends" where very little time commitment is involved - perfect for a mom who can only interact with friends at her children's disgression, and on THEIR time table.
Besides, I can ramble...and ramble...and ramble...and assume that SOMEONE is reading it, no matter how boring I am. And ramble...and ramble... ... ...
This IS an interesting topic, Pender. During my very first few blog experiences, paticularly in commenting, I fantasized a little about being ruthless; about saying whatever I wanted because I didn't have to say it to someone's face. But I never did, because that's not who I am. I am not a person who can be fake or pretend very well.
And it only took one flippant and exagerated comment to teach me a lesson about that.
There has always been anonymity in the written (or typed) word. Even in the Bible, we almost assume that the ancient apostles and prophets were somehow comparable socially or culturally to the men of God we know today. If you think about this, you can see how false this is in reality. If it weren't for the HOly Ghost to unify our understanding of God's word, how else could an ancient Jew teach a 21st century woman ANYTHING that would be within my ken?
And how much do you really know about your favorite authors? Could any of us guess that "Pilgrim's Progress" with all its magestic description and glory was written by a blind Milton? Or that some of our most beloved authors were women writing under the protective name of a man, sociopaths, manic depressives, geniouses, or homebodies?
For almost 5 years I had to work with someone who was constantly "faking" who they were. It becomes apparent rather quickly when someone is trying to fool you. I rely upon the gift of discernment, personally, which is a gift by the power of the Holy Ghost. "If there is anything lovely, praiseworthy, or of good report, we seek after these things." I think this liberating sense of anonymity is true for the internet as well as the library. You must decide what you will allow to influence you.
I really don't like to think of my audience having "control" over me. I'm not saying that there isn't a portion of that argument that isn't true. But I hope that I act "normally" or true to my true self in any given situation. Not my natural self, but a better, always-striving self.
And let's not even get into the subject of anonymity in the world of music...
This is a little preachy, it's Sunday. But I am just writing my general, rambling feelings...
Keep the good questions coming family...
What you all don't know is that the reason I am always absent in these is because I am living an alternate life--through blogging, via the internet...I am a 40 year old black gay man...with a dibilitating disease...but a very understanding companion--Cecil. Oh, I would say I am one of the influencial ones alright.
I think you need a spring break.
And I will forever have that image of you as a wee tot in your crib with poop smeared all over the place burned into my brain. You guys can say whatever you want but I will forever be the oldest...and admit it, some of you still salivate when I ask you to do something and offer you a piece of "Hubba Bubba"!
I think this is a fabulous topic for discussion and I wish it weren't so late so I could think properly.
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